I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
