Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
