then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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