That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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