Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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