I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
