I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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