my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
