i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
