I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
