Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
