i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
well you can't waste a boner
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
