Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
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