We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
