Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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