Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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