Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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