Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Your tits are I can't wait for
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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