im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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