I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
