What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
