I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
