I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
