Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
