Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
