I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
