I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
