he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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