i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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