That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
