white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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