Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just googled if crying burns calories
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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