Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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