Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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