Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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