just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
