i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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