eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
