you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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