I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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