spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
