I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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