ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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