I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
