You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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