we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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