I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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