Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
