weddingsv make me drug and hornr
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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