walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
