garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you had me at cake vodka
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
